


Take a While To Shed My Grief

by Telesilla



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, M/M, Porn Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-12
Updated: 2007-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-05 04:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This takes place six years after Rising in an AU in which the Expedition never regained contact with Earth. It was written for the  <a href="http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/286546.html">porn battle</a>,<br/>using the prompts "quiet" and "the dark." The title is from the Portishead song "Wandering Star." After the porn battle, I sat and stared at this for a long time, trying to decide if I should expand it, but in the end, I realized that it's complete in my mind and any attempt to write more would feel forced.</p></blockquote>





	Take a While To Shed My Grief

It's always dark when John comes into Rodney's room. Rodney sometimes thinks it's funny--in an ironic way, not a "ha ha!" kind of thing--that the lights remain off, given how Atlantis normally lights up like a Christmas tree for John.

John never says anything, not since the first time when all he said, as Rodney rubbed his eyes and blinked in the dim moonlight, was: "I need this and you want it."

When Rodney had tried to reply, John's hand had come down hard over his mouth.

Rodney can take a hint and so he never says anything either.

John moves him around with simple touches. It should be a lot hotter than it really is; John's got nice hands and for five long years Rodney had looked at them as John piloted the puddlejumpers and wondered what they'd feel like on his skin. He doesn't do that anymore. He knows.

Sometimes John leaves Rodney on his back. Rodney keeps his hands and arms tucked close to his sides then, so John won't kneel on them as he looms over Rodney. Rodney's mouth goes open and it's so Pavlovian--on his back means John's cock fucking its way into Rodney's mouth and Rodney had damn well better breathe when he can because John really couldn't care less about giving him enough air.

Rodney's not sure if that's any worse than the times John turns him over. He's so efficient about it, rolling Rodney over and tapping on his thigh. That's the signal for Rodney to get his knees under him and in the dark, he doesn't care that he's not at all graceful. John doesn't notice.

The efficiency continues, lube and two fingers until Rodney's loose enough that there won't be any real damage. There's the sound of latex and then the initial shove, hard enough to stop Rodney's breath for a moment or two, because, even with the prep, it burns like hell. Most of the time Rodney doesn't get hard. John doesn't notice that either.

It's not rape.

Rodney knows that John would stop if Rodney told him to. But he won't say it; John made that impossible from the moment he said "I need this...."

John has him on his stomach tonight. Rodney's not hard, in fact, he's wondering if Simpson will remember to send him that report he asked for and going over tomorrow's schedule in his mind. John's moving more urgently now and Rodney thinks he's almost done when he feels it--something wet splashes on Rodney's back and John's breath is hitching in a really strange way.

Tonight, Rodney will say something. And maybe, John will let the lights come on.

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place six years after Rising in an AU in which the Expedition never regained contact with Earth. It was written for the [porn battle](http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/286546.html),  
> using the prompts "quiet" and "the dark." The title is from the Portishead song "Wandering Star." After the porn battle, I sat and stared at this for a long time, trying to decide if I should expand it, but in the end, I realized that it's complete in my mind and any attempt to write more would feel forced.


End file.
